I want my child to succeed in school and life. What can I do?

There is a lot of concern that young children should be prepared, get a head start or an early start on school, and not be left behind. Many of us ask the question: "Will my child have the knowledge and skills to succeed?" and worry whether their child's early education is extensive or rigorous enough. While many children today may well live to be 90 or 100 years old, there is increasing pressure for them to know more and more by age five. Or to cram their summers with "educational experiences." Much of the pressure we feel leads to concerns about our child's academic skills and knowledge, cognitive abilities and I.Q.

Yes, we should definitely make sure that our children are experiencing rich learning environments, particularly environments that establish a lifelong love affair with language, books, and learning. Yes, enrichment activities that expose children to the arts, science, and computers can be valuable. But it may well be that our children's emotional intelligence will have as much or more to do with their success in school and life. People who possess high emotional intelligence may be the people who truly succeed in work as well as play, building flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships.

The route to growing emotional intelligence in our children is not more schooling or academic experiences. It grows out of a child's experience with mentoring and nurturing adults who take the time to be fully in the moment with children and to grow with them.