Children need to know that they are loved unconditionally and that they have unique gift to share with the word. Helping them to discover their own unique purpose in life in one of parent's greatest accomplishments. There are ways to do this without using empty praise. Using encouragement or effective praise can make a positive difference. Here are some suggestions:

Children need to know that they are loved unconditionally and that they have unique gift to share with the word. Helping them to discover their own unique purpose in life in one of parent's greatest accomplishments. There are ways to do this without using empty praise. Using encouragement or effective praise can make a positive difference. Here are some suggestions:

Notice and describe what your chill has done. Instead of judging it ("You are a wonderful block builder!") simply acknowledge that she has done it (" You have stacked four block-one,two,three,four.") Notice the details she has worked so hard to achieve. It will encourage her to make further progress, like add a fifth block to her pile.

Use non-verbal communication. Give a smile or hug or a pat to acknowledge a good effort. Work out a secret signal like a thumbs up or high five.

Help your child develop an appreciation of his own good qualities. There's a difference between telling a child he is great and helping him to recognize his own greatness. Instead of "You're a good boy to pick up your crayons," say "I'll bet you feel proud that you stuck with this job and picked up all your crayons." Let him what he think about his efforts. It will help him develop his own standards rather than just want to please you.

Acknowledge effort as well as achievement. Her success or failure are less important than her feeling that she has made a respectable effort. don't wait for her to get an "A" to acknowledge her effort. Notice that she studied hard for the test. Even failure can bring some satisfaction for a child who knows she has made a good effort. Be a little stingy with your praise when she has accomplished something with very little effort. In addition to supporting her self-esteem, this approach teacher an important lesson about persistence. You are emphasizing that hard work is more important than worrying about the outcome.

Avoid backhanded praise. Don't say "I can't believe you actually cleaned your room without being badgered about it." Instead, say "You cleaned your room." She will be glad you noticed without reminding her of her past failure.

Beware comparative praise. Don't say "Look how well Sarah cleaned her closet" to both of your daughters unless it is your intention to create hostility between Sarah and her sister, because it will. Compliment your kids privately.

Think before you speak. If you are in the habit of automatically praising all day long, buy yourself a little time. Thinking before you speak will give you a moment to think of how to say " How do you like red and orange colors you used for your painting?" instead of "That's nice painting."

Mean what you say. Talk in a warm, embracing tone. Even word like "Super" and "Great!" are sometimes appropriate if you save them for those extraordinary accomplishments and say them with real delight in your voice.

Source: Anne Cassidy, "Hold the Applause", Working Mother