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Success in school and getting along in a family or with peers depend on self-confidence. Without it, children’s talents may not be developed because they may be afraid to take risks or be creative. Research shows that a positive self-concept is more important to academic success than a high IQ score. Children will have greater self-esteem if they feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for their experiences. The following are guidelines for fostering self-esteem.
Look at Each Child as a Unique Person
Make every effort not to compare a child with siblings or peers. Focus on the child’s countless assets rather than on what he lacks. De-emphasize competition. Accept the child for what he is rather than what you want him to be. Be supportive of his interests.
Keep Expectations Realistic
Know the basics of child development. Fit your expectations to your children’s ages, temperaments and backgrounds. Be careful not to base your expectations on your unfulfilled wishes and values rather than your children’s wants and needs. Avoid using children to increase your status. Help children set realistic goals for themselves. Give the Freedom to Make Mistakes
Help children develop the courage to be imperfect. Don’t be defeated by mistakes. Learn from the experience. Teach children problem-solving skills so they can continue to try. Instead of focusing on errors, encourage children. Build in Success
Create situations where failure is unlikely; break down tasks into a series of easy steps and communicate them clearly and concisely. Provide training. Give children a chance to contribute in their particular area of competency. Give Encouragement
Recognize efforts and improvements rather than waiting to praise completed tasks. Focus on children’s assets and strengths and encourage self-appreciation and positive self-talk.Accept Children’s Unpleasant Feelings and Teach Them How to Deal With Them
All feelings can be accepted. Certain actions must be limited. Take children’s ideas, emotions and feelings seriously. Give feedback that makes a clear distinction between the behavior and the person. Give Choices
Children will not develop a sense of ownership and responsibility if others always decide what, when and how they will do things. Real choices, appropriate to children's ages, also permit them to experiment, make mistakes and learn in non-threatening situations. Give Responsibility and Expect Cooperation
Give children opportunities to help with tasks around the house. Avoid doing for your children what they can do for themselves. Keep Your Sense of Humor
Encourage children to see the humorous side of events. Be careful not to appear to be laughing at them. |
