Not getting enough sleep is something most parents-to-be worry about during those months just before baby arrives. Babies are notorious for repeatedly wakening their sleeping parents nightafter night once they get home and it is true. Babies are far more apt to be asleep during the day and awake at night.

Most newborns only sleep two to four hours at a stretch. The average is three and a half hours. The typical age for "sleeping through the night" (at least being asleep between midnight and five a.m.) is three months, although some babies do it sooner. As a baby gets older sleep begins to become more like that of his parents. Although some babies will continue erratic day and night sleep-wake patterns for a year or more.

One big reason that babies wake up so much is that they are born with very tiny stomachs that can only hold a small amount of milk at a time so their bodies demand constant refueling day and night.

Research shows that even before they are born babies already have clear-cut patterns of being asleep or awake and alert. Surprisingly, toward the end of pregnancy expectant mothers' bodies align their sleep wake patterns with those of their unborn babies. Once the baby is born the mom's sleep cycle quickly returns to normal. So that is one reason why you are tossing and turning in the middle of the night during those last weeks before giving birth -- nature is prepping you for upcoming night time demands. (Plus you are waking up to go to the bathroom and in response to the odd aches and pains and jumpy legs of those last weeks).

Baby Sleep Patterns

You will notice that when your baby gets sleepy her eyelids get heavy, they may turn red and flutter open and closed. Underneath the lids the eyes have a dull, glazed look to them as though they're not focused. You may also see the whites of your baby's eyes when they roll back in the head. Within minutes your baby will be asleep, and there is no use to try to feed a drowsy baby.

Babies usually fall into active sleep first followed by deep sleep, then travel through transitional phases between those two. About an hour after falling asleep many babies will predictably cry out briefly as they move from deep sleep back into active sleep again.

When your baby is in active sleep his eyes will move back and forth under his half opened eyelids. He may chew, chomp and move his mouth like he is nursing and he will stir around restlessly. In fact, young babies move more during active sleep than when they are awake. There is very little difference in baby brain waves between active sleep and waking hours when she is sucking or fussing.

During deep sleep your baby will lie motionless and his chest will rise and fall rhythmically. His eyelids will be completely shut. There is hardly any mouth movement going on and his face will be relaxed. If you accidentally jiggle the crib during this phase your baby will jump, but during active sleep the jiggle may not affect him at all.

Active sleep appears to be related to your baby's brain growth and development while deep sleep appears to be involved in your baby's body growth and the repair of tissues.

As babies mature active sleep gets less and less while quiet sleep increases. Your baby is more apt to fall directly into deep sleep instead of having an active phase first.

Should You try to "make" Your Baby Sleep?

Some psychologists and physicians have bought fame for themselves byurging parents to force their babies to sleep. They instruct parents to ignore a baby's pleas to be fed or held in the night until the baby finally gives up and doesn't ask for night time help any longer.

However, most baby experts believe that a baby's needs should be promptly met whether it is day or night. In fact, it has been shown that babies with parents who respond readily to their cries move on to more sophisticated levels of communication quicker than those whose screams for help go unanswered.

Whatever the reason for the waking and crying, it is better for babies to have a kind, humane response than none at all.

Safety Issues

Hundreds of babies die every year in sleep related accidents. Outdatedand malfunctioning cribs can allow a baby to strangle between bars or between the mattress and crib frame. The safest solution is to buy a new, certified crib that meets current government and manufacturers' safety standards.

Babies also die when they are strangled by getting their necks entangled in mobiles, ribbons, strings, or blind cords next to the crib, or when the neck holes of clothing get caught on crib posts. Remove mobiles as soon as your baby is able to turn over. Don't use pacifier strings and keep blind cords tied up, far away from a baby's reach. Avoid older model cribs with cutouts or posts that could capture a piece of clothing.

Babies die in adult beds, too. Usually that happens when baby's delicate neck gets compressed between the mattress and the bed's headboard or a bedside table. Waterbeds are dangerous for babies and so are lambskins or puffy bedding that can capture a baby's face so that she suffocates in her own re-breathed air.

Some babies mysteriously stop breathing and die during sleep. That isusually labeled as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome ("SIDS"). Recent studies in Europe and the U.S. have found that babies' lives can be saved by having them sleep face up (on their backs) instead of face down (on their stomachs). By the time your baby is able to roll herself over from back to front she is most likely past the most dangerous age range for SIDS deaths.

Another sleeping danger is called "Baby Bottle Mouth." Cavities form in the back of a baby's front teeth that cause the teeth to rot and crumble. It is caused by putting baby to bed with a bottle of formula that pools in the sleeping baby's mouth. The best prevention is to hold your baby and rock him to sleep before removing the bottle and putting him to bed. Some studies show that serious thumb sucking problems can also be headed off by holding your baby during nursing instead of making him feed himself alone in the crib.

Getting the Rest You Need

Parents don't die from lack of sleep but sometimes it feels like that when your baby is crying for attention for the fourth time in one night. It helps to turn the clock to the wall so you are not keeping tally of the number of times you get up to tend to your baby.

Get rest whenever you can. You may need to trick your body into thinking it is nighttime even though it is broad daylight so you can nap. Take off your clothes, put on your jammies, close the blinds, unplug the phone and sleep when you can.

Most partners have found that to trade off who gets to sleep late on Saturday or Sunday mornings adds a touch of luxury during this high demand time. Hiring a teenager from a local high school to do the household chores once a week also helps to lighten the load for parents.

Post-Baby Sex problems

Most moms and dads find that their sex life changes radically after a baby comes into the house. Although a dad's desires may be equally as strong as before baby came a mom may lose interest in sex for months after birth. Some moms have stitches from Cesareans or episiotomies that make sex uncomfortable until everything is healed.

Another problem affecting sex after birth is sheer exhaustion and the feeling of being "touched out" by the baby. If a mom is nursing her hormones may affect natural vaginal lubrication and result in uncomfortable sex.

Parents joke with one another about how their babies inevitably wake up and scream when mom and dad start to have sex. It's as though babies are born with built in radar systems that rouse them just when things start to heat up. (Who knows? Maybe it is a natural form of birth control).

Patience is called for, and a mutual understanding that mature sexual expression is more than just the act itself. Being intimate, after all can also include a whole repertoire of gentle touch through hugging, cuddling and massage. Hint to dads: some moms have defined getting to sleep in on Saturday morning, having help with vacuuming and the pile of dirty dishes in the sink as their preferred version of foreplay.

Make Night Calls Easy on Yourself

Here are some practical tips for making baby's nighttime wakeup calls more tolerable: Keep the baby's crib in your room so you don't have to become completely aroused to meet your baby's needs. A "nursing nest" in either your bedroom or baby's that includes a rocker recliner, blanket and pillow and a side table with water to drink can make middle of the night calls easier.

If you are bottle feeding you may want to keep baby's bottle in an ice bucket or in a small, apartment size refrigerator nearby, especially if your kitchen is on a different floor. A bottle warmer with an automatic cutoff switch comes in handy too, or a wide-mouthed thermos with hot water for warming the bottle. And don't forget to equip your bedroom, the hall and baby's room with dim nightlights so you won't be aroused by glare during the night.

Surprisingly, you'll remember the quiet, gentle nighttime feedings of baby with fondness many years laterSbut by then you will have selectively forgotten how exhausted you were and how you dreaded the coming of morning during those early, sleep-deprived months. Keep your perspective. There are no records of parents dying from lack of sleep and the old adage "this too will pass" is worth remembering.